Empty

We were not able to get Easter baskets and goodies for the kids this year.....and my heart was very sad!  Empty basket sitting dusty on the shelf in our pantry made me want to cry.  This has never happened before.  We have always been able to get them alittle something.  We have always been very careful not to make it about the bunny, basket or candy, but we have always had a few treats as a gift of love for them.  But not this year.....and I was sad.  In fact, I spent quite a bit of time yesterday and last night wiping tears.  This morning, I awoke to more assaults from the enemy saying "you aren't making memories with your kids, you are letting them down, they will be SO disappointed when they come in and see no baskets...and on and on"  I immediately closed my eyes and shouted (in my heart, cuz Tim was still sleeping) these are ALL lies! and I will not believe them to be truth!  I will remember the very best gift ever given is EMPTY!  For in an empty tomb, I find HOPE for this day and each day that will follow.  So, I got up and continued to pray that God would help me choose joy, and remember that this day is a celebration of HIM CONQUERING DEATH! not candy, bunny, dyed eggs, new shoes or clothes.  So God in His gracious way began to bring songs and scriptures to my heart and mind as I made a special breakfast of homemade biscuit and chocolate gravy with sweet tea.  The devil was really determined today to discourage me, but greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world (1John 4:4)  My usually fluffy biscuits didn't rise...I was so disappointed and for a second, satan started again.."well, look a there, you can't even make a good breakfast for your family" but The Holy Spirit was right there with me and whispered..."your biscuit didn't rise, but Jesus did!  Praise The LORD!" So I smiled, and thanked God for this reminder is such a sweet simple manner.

So I called all the kids in for breakfast, each had one plastic egg on their plate.  Beginning with Ashley, they opened the egg and shared their part of the message that  was inside:

                     HE IS NOT HERE!

Josh said our blessing, thanking God for our risen Savior.  I shared with them what God had laid on my heart and we ate.  Not one word of disappointment was spoken.  What I did hear was laughter and "oooooohhhhhhh we get chocolate gravy!" and sweet fellowship with my family.  It was simple and unrushed and a blessing!  I am so thankful for our kids teachable hearts, and for my husbands constant and unwavering leadership of our family as he seeks God's will.  I am overwhelmed and amazed by God's unfailing love for me and my family.  I am so thankful that God emptied my heart of all the hurtful words from the enemy and filled me with love, joy, peace, patient, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and selfcontrol. But most of all I am thankfull for the empty tomb!

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth" 3John 4:4   This truth helps me to remember that it is my hearts desire to see my children walking in the truth, and today I saw a glimpse of this and I can testify there is NO greater joy for this mama!

                 HAPPY EASTER FRIENDS

Lesson Learned

18 YEARS!!!!!!  WOW!!!!!!!!18 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yesterday my husband and I celebrated our 18th anniversary.  It has flown by.........I am so thankful for the wisdom I have been taught.  I have learned many lessons over that past 18 years of marriage to my amazing husband Tim.  I have had and still have some wonderful godly counsel in my life, who  mentor me on how to be the wife and mom God called me to be.   I thought I'd share some of them with you today...................

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18.. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY...  I'm listing this last, not because it is unimportant, but because sometimes we wait until all else fails before we run to The Father.  I pray Col 1:9-11 for Tim regularly.  He is worth it!

17.  Forgive QUICKLY... 1 Corinthians 13 reminds me that love keeps NO record of wrong, and love forgives.  One of the sweetest parts of our marriage is that neither of us chooses to be a historian.  Once it's over, it's over....learn a lesson, cover wrongs with love and move on (Col 3:13)

16.  Hold hands.....this lets me know that Tim still chooses and I still choose him.  I love walking hand in hand with him.  Although, I must admit now, I share this hand holding time with our two beautiful daughters....and I'm ok with that. 

15.  Remember you are the first example of true love for your kids.  NOT what Hollywood, or the world says true love is, but TRUE love.  Love that says " I choose to put you first".  It is a choice, made each day.  True love wants only what will be best for the one loved.

14.  Put Him first......now, don't get all in a tizzy, if you are both doing this life is beautiful!  He is always looking out for my best interest, and I am always looking out for his.     It is what God's word tells us to do,..to esteem others above ourselves  (Phil 2:3)

13. Keep first thing FIRST, don't neglect your time with The Lord.  You need badly, each day, to sit at the Master's feet.  Hide God's word in your heart.  It is a comfort and help in your daily life. (Ps 119:11)

12.  Don't complain....it won't help, instead pray (I stink at this sometimes!  I allow the enemy to trick me with his lies, that these problems are going to last forever)  Tim is GREAT at reminding me to pray. (Phil 2:14)

11.  Say I Love You, every day, many times during the day.  You NEVER know when you will speak for the last time to this precious gift, make sure to end on a kind note.

10.  Think before you speak.  Your words have such impact, choose them wisely.  Always season your speech with grace.(Eph 4:15a)

9.  Don't pick fights. Try to the best of your ability to live a peaceful life with all you are around
 you.  Remember that sometimes you have to lead your heart, and NOT allow emotions to control your actions.(Romans 12:18)

8.  Remember you are NOT his holy spirit, that position is filled, and won't be available any time soon.  Pray for your husband, and encourage him to seek God's will (which won't always be yours :-0--TRUTH)

7.  Submit to your husbands leadership.....He is the head, and he will one day stand before The Lord and give an answer for how he lead y'alls family. (Eph 5:22-23)

6.  Remember you are on the same team.  You are in a battle for your family, but NOT with your husband, remember who the enemy is....fight together...it is easier to fight with a friend. (Ecc 4:9-12)

5.  Remember and speak aloud good qualities.  He knows his faults, he doesn't need you to point them out.  Do you need a reminded of your faults?  Probably not so much, neither does he.  (Eph 4:31-32) 

4. Greet him, with a kiss...not a list.

3.  Abide in The Vine....it is where you will get what you need to do this day well.  It is a beautiful place to live. (John 15: 1-12)

2.  Guard your time!  Without even realizing it we get so busy and we sacrifice what means the most to us.  The first union that God ordained was FAMILY......guard it, it is worth it  Remember life is a filled with seasons.  This is your season to raise your sweet children and teach them to love God.(Ecc 3:1-10)

1.   Don't expect your husband to complete you, or be your everything!  That is a burden too great to carry.  You are not his everything or his completer either.  That is a God sized task.  Your husband  doesn't get a manual on how to fix everything on your wedding day.  he is learning on this journey just like you are.  Encourage him, pray for him, love him, and let him be molded by God.
remember that He that began a good work in you (and him) will complete it,  (Phil 1: 4-6)

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These are just a few of the lessons God has taught me throughout the years so far.  Some of them are WAY easy to remember and do, others take a daily laying down of my own will.    I am so very thankful that I get to walk this life with Tim.  He is an amazing husband, beyond anything I could have hoped or dreamed.....but isn't that just how God works! Eph 3:18-21



 

On the mend....

"Be serious! Be alert! Your adversary the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour.  Resist him and be firm in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are being experienced by your fellow believers throughout the world. Now the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will personally restore, establish, strengthen, and support you after you have suffered a little.  The dominion and glory belongs to Him forever. Amen" 1Peter 5:8-11


I started feeling "bad" about three months ago.  Each day it seemed I had less and less energy.  I was short-tempered, grouchy, easily offended, and all I wanted to do was sleep.  It finally got so bad that I went to the doctor for testing.  She found a few things but her biggest concern was that some of my symptoms pointed to my heart as the issue.  Well, long story short, and lots-o-testing later....it was not my heart, but my stomach, and vitamin D were my issues.  It has been a slooooooooooow process but I am beginning to feel normal again. (well, for those of you how know me, know that I will never be "normal" but back to my normal)

During this part of my journey, I got so discouraged.  My house was a disaster, but more importantly so was my heart and mind.  I allowed satan a foothold and he sat up camp.   As our Pastor says satan is still using that same ole tricks he started using way back in Genesis, but they still work, and they work well.  My adversary the devil, knows all to well how to make me feel defeated, forgotten, and overwhelmed.

All throughout this year God has been teaching me about restoration. Restoring joy, restoring strength, restoring faith.  Restoring......that's God's business.  Taking what is broken, discarded, and rejected, and restoring it.  It is a beautiful thing, a process, that until you have been broken, and restored you don't fully understand or appreciate its worth.  This is the first week in months that I have been able to do the work necessary to get my home back in order.  I am now having to remember that it took about three months for it to get this bad, and I am not going to be able to fix it in one day.  Each day I do what I can, ask God to bless my efforts and count my blessings for that day.

I wasn't going to share this because honestly, who likes a whiner?  But today, with fresh eyes I saw a new part of  1Petter 5...knowing that the same sufferings are being experienced by your fellow believers throughout the world.....God reminded me that one of satan's best weapons againist me was to make me feel like I was all alone.  He said I was a failure as a mom, wife, sister, aunt and that I was a burden.  And, I believed him....he knows when and where to strike to cause the most injury.  But today, God reminded me that many who have gone before and who will come behind have struggled with these similar issues.   So I want to encourage you to remember something...Now the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will personally restore, establish, strengthen, and support you after you have suffered a little.

 The present is temporary, and whatever struggle you may be facing will NOT last forever.  The temporary has a way of pretending to be bigger than it really is, but God is so good to remind me that this too shall pass. God establishes and strengthens and supports me, He reminds me of truth, that can get drowned out by satan's noise, that He alone sustains me, and loves me with an endless love.....and He loves you the same way.

If we are careful to share our walk honestly and humbly then we point others to Christ.  And that is what this journey is all about, helping others find the one thing that sustains us on our journey..........
Christ........turns out the doctor's first concern was correct....it was a heart issue........I needed to get my heart right and allow God to do what He does best..RESTORE.

God RESTORES WHAT IS BROKEN! 

It is my sincere prayer that this encourages you if your are struggling right now.  Thanks for reading.

Whaaaaaaat?

Today I read something in my quiet time that did not sit well with my soul.  I was actually repulsed, and instantly angered by what I read....

"Lot went out to the men at the entrance, shut the door after him and said "I beg you, my brothers, do not act so wickedly.  Behold, I have two daughters who have not known any man,  Let me bring them out to you and do to them as you please....."(Gensis 19:6-8)

WHAAAAAAAAAT??????????????????????  My immediate thought was "how could a daddy utter those words...." here take my daughters instead of these strangers......"

BUT THEN...God step in and spoke truth into my heart.  He reminded me, that He did EXACTLY that FOR ME.  He looked out into time and saw that people who did not yet know Him, needed Him to intervene, and provide a Savior.  He utter those unthinkable words, "Take My Only Son."  "For God so love the world (you & me) that He GAVE His only Son, that whosoever (anyone) believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16"

I can't imagine laying down the life of one of my children for a stranger.  A stranger that could reject the sacrifice, or say it never happened, or even goes as far to say that my child was crazy or a fake.  That is EXACTLY what is said about Jesus.  People say He is a liar, a lunatic, a fake, and fraud....and I believe it breaks God's heart.  But God in all His love and wisdom knew that there would be some who accepted this gift with humility and awe...and it was worth the cost.

WORTH IT...you, and me.....WORTH IT!  Worth the sacrifice that is unimaginable to my human brain....Worth the pain, rejection, ridicule, ....WORTH IT!

How great is our Father's love for us!  How deep and wide, How UNBELIEVEABLLY AMAZING!

I don't know if I will ever  fully understand this love, but I know each time I seem to get a glimpse of it's depth, I find myself standing with my mouth gapping wide in absolute amazement.  I pray that I will never forget, and never allow myself to not take for granted how AMAZING His LOVE is for me

Amazed by Grace

Pslam 139 is an AMAZING chapter in God's Word.  Filled with affirmation, and encouragement to the believer about being formed, helped, protected, lead, and loved by God.  Absolutely beautiful!  Then at the end David shares...

"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns.  See if there is any wicked way in me; lead me in the everlasting way." Psalm 139:23-24"

I have read these verses several times and have thought: "hey, that's good stuff!"  However, recently The Holy Spirit encouraged me to take more than a casual glance, and actually pray those words!  YIKES!  That's intimidating!  I mean what if He finds something in there that He didn't know about?  What if He sees something lurking in the very back dark corner that shocks Him.  I mean really, do I want to be the "one" that surprises God by what He found in my heart?  I can just see it now....God, with His hands folded together frowning and saying, "Well, I never!"

So, for a few days I struggled with this, I wrestled with being obedient.  I want to be pleasing to my Father, and I was pretty sure that if He only knew......the secret anger, unforgiveness, regrets, fears, insecurties and doubt that I had packed away in my heart maybe, just maybe, He would decide that I wasn't worth the effort.  Then I re-read the WHOLE chapter!

ALL OF IT!!!  Have you ever read it?  Well, if not you should.  I had but I had forgotten....TRUTH!
Being anything but real before Holy God is absolute nonsense!  Here's why......

Psalm 139: 1-18

"Lord, You have searched me and know me.  You know when I sit down and when I stand up; You understand my thought from far away.  You observe my travels and my rest; You are aware of ALL my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue, You know all about it, LORD.  You have encircled me; You have placed Your hand on me.  This extraordinary knowledge is beyond me.  It is lofty; I am unable to reach it.  Where can I go to escape Your Spirit?  Where can I flee from Your presence?  If I go up to heaven, You are there if I make my bed in Sheol (grave) You are there.  If I live at the eastern horizon or settle at the western limits, even there Your hand will lead me; your right hand will hold on to me.  If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me, and the light around me will be night"--even the darkness is not dark to You.  The night shines like the day; darkness and light are alike to You.  For it is you who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother's womb.  I will praise You because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made.  Your works are wonderful, and I know this very well.  My bones are not hidden from You when I was made in secret, when I was formed in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began.  God, how difficult Your thoughts are for me to comprehend; how vast their sum is!  if I counted them, they would outnumber the grains of sand; when I wakeup, I am still with You."

GOD IS SO GOOD!!!!!

Satan is a liar, a good one, but a liar just the same!  He know exactly what to say to make me doubt, he knows the areas I don't feel safe, when and how to attack so that I will believe  his lies, even if just for a moment.  And for a moment he had me convinced that I had hidden something that would make me unwanted by my Father!

In a world where people are discarded as soon as they are no longer "useful" and where children are treated like trash instead of treasure, it doesn't take much to believe this lie, and accept this lie as a truth.  Do you want to know something?  (if you said no, you should probably stop reading :-D)
                               NOTHING IS HDDEN FROM GOD!   NOTHING!!!

 I believe that most people don't really believe this.  They think that where they are God's grace can't reach.  Here's the thing about God's amazing grace.  You can't be good enough to earn it, or bad enough to loose it.  No one deserves grace, but God pours it out on us because He loves us with a never ending love.   He proved that to us by allowing His One and Only Son Jesus to come and pay the price for our sins.  God's word is very clear about this prices.  Death.  When sin entered this world so did death, and all sin leads to death. No exceptions.  Because of the sacrifice that Jesus made on our behalf we are able to be sons and daughter, of The King of kings and Lord of lords!  Jesus came, lived a perfect life, and died on the cross for our sins.  Three days later God raised Him for the dead, conquering sin and death for US!!!  The Bible tells us.. "If  you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord",: and believe in your heart that God raised Him for the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9   Once you are saved, NOTHING can remove you from His love!  "For I am persuaded that not even death or life, angels or rulers, thing present or things to come, powers, height or depth, or any other created thing will have the power to separate us for the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord! Romans 8:38-39 As His childern we are free to go boldly before the throne of the Most High God and say..."search me, show me anything in me that doesn't bring you honor and give me the strength to remove it so that I can be pleasing in Your sight!"

 And, you want know something else.......He loves you, warts and all!  It is His desire to touch each area of your hurt.  Do you know what happens when He touches you?  HEALING!    And, it is absolutely AMAZING!

Coming Clean

A few days ago, I participated in a FB conversation about how to clean up a house where kids live.  I must admit this is a struggle for me!   A few people asked me to share what we do... so here goes.... I get easily discouraged because nothing stays done.  Clean dishes, clothes and floors never stay clean.  When my kids were smaller I use to think, ok this isn't too bad for a mom of four kiddos all under 5, but when they range in ages of 13 to 8 and the house still looked like I have four under 5 I was very discouraged!  I began to pray about this and ask God to help me come up with a plan to get the chaos under control. 

I have a confession....I AM A PERFECTIONIST!  Not a good one, not the kind that gets everything done because I like perfect but the kind that gives up because I can't make it perfect.  This was my first obstacle to overcome.  God began working on this one many, many, many years ago.  Right after Josh was born, Tim pointed out to me that I was going to be miserable if everything had to be perfect because this life is messy and I'm not going to be able to reach perfection.  He did this as lovingly as a husband could. And, in time this truth sank in and took roots.  So my first piece of advice would have to be DON'T AIM FOR PERFECTION!  Even in the "clean" state my home will never be considered perfect, and that is just fine.  It is my hearts desire to have an open door policy.  God has given us this house to minister to people in need and to love on those who need some love.  So my goal is to have a house that is warm, welcoming, and loving not dust free and freshly mopped (although that'd be AWESOME too :-D)

So.............here's what I did. 

1.  I prayed that God would change my attitude about cleaning.  That He would help me to work as unto the Lord and to teach my kids to do the same. I prayed that He would help me to see that I wasn't doing chores but that I was serving where He placed me.  I prayed that He would bless our efforts, help us to be thankful for what was accomplished, and to see clearly what needed to be done to maintain the house after we got the chaos under control.

2.  I started laundry.  My first load was all curtains. After each load we all stopped what we were doing and folded, and put away what ever was in that load.  This also was a timer for a break for us.  every 55 minuted the kids got 15-20 minutes to do whatever they wanted.  This gave me time to plan and think and pray.

3..  I started in our living room.  We had a box for every other room in the house and a GIVE AWAY BOX.  I did this so that we would not get distracted in other rooms while we were putting stuff up.  Everything went into the box of the room that it belong in and then the boxes were moved to the next room we were going to de-chaos-ify.  Then we dusted everything from top to bottom.  We swept the whole living room and vacuumed the couch. We wiped down all switches, and knobs.  After this room was completed we declared it a NO DROP ZONE!  From this point on we just had to maintain this room and that only takes about 10 minutes a day. 

3.  We moved on to the next room, our kitchen  the box marked kitchen was emptied first.  We didn't make a box for the living room because it was a NO DROP ZONE so everything that belonged in there was put in the proper place.  We continued through the house in this manner until every room was completely cleaned.  It took alittle over a week.  I had to remember that our house didn't get in the shape it was in overnight and I wasn't going to fix it overnight.

****Side note:  Encourage your children to be a blessing to those who may not have by giving away stuff they no longer need.  Tim and I are not "stuff" people.  I'm NOT bragging about that, it is just the way God made us so we have no right to brag.  We want to teach our children that God uses His children to bless those in need.  I can't begin to tell you how very blessed we have been by gifts of unselfish people.  I have on many occasions prayed for something and been either given it or was able to find it at an amazing price used.  This is an opportunity to teach your kids that God blesses others through our unselfishness.

OK, so once you have the chaos under control you have to maintain it daily.  We set aside about 1 hour (it can be all at once or broken down into 15 min slots) to maitian.  Each day has a FOCUS room and then the rest is just TIDY TIME.

Here's my weekly list

DAILY:  2 loads of laundry completed and put away.  Dishwasher unloaded and reloaded.  Straighten up our bedrooms and sweep (we have concrete floors so each room is swept each day, when we have carpet only the living room and kitchen had to be done each day the other rooms were vacuumed once a week).

Monday:  FOCUS: Kitchen.  We sweep, mop.  Move everything off the counters and disinfect.  We clean all cabinet doors .  We clean all windows, and glass. We wipe down the outside of all appliances. Then we do a once a month chore: Wk1 wash all curtains and wipe down all window sills.  Wk2 clean all switches, door jams, and knobs.  Wk3 Clean out fridge Wk4 wash the garbage can and ceiling fan
Then we tidy up the living room, bath room, hall and our bed rooms.

Tuesday: FOCUS: Living Room.  We sweep, mop.  Move everything off the book shelf, table and entertainment center and dust.  We clean the windows, tv screen and all glass.  We vacuum the couch and the area rug.   Then we do a once a month chore.  Wk1 wash all curtains and wipe down all window sills.  Wk2 clean all switches, knobs and door jams.  Wk 3 clean the ceiling fan  Wk4 we clean baseboards and corners.
Then we tidy the kitchen, bathroom, hall and bedrooms

Wednesday FOCUS: Bathrooms.  We have 3 bathrooms so each job is done in each one.  Clean tub, toilet, sink and mirrors.  We sweep and mop. We empty the trash.  Then we do a monthly chore.  Wk1. wash the shower curtains.  Wk2 clean and disinfect the trash can.  Wk3 Declutter any drawers and under the cabinet. Wk4 clean all switches, door jams and knobs.
We tidy the living room, kitchen, hall and our bed rooms.

Thursday:  FOCUS: Bedrooms.  No one has their own room here.  So the partners all work together but we all do the same task to stay focused.  We put away all stuff that has been left out (there is ALWAYS stuff)  .  We dust and sweep and mop.  We change sheets and remake all beds.  We empty trash can.  Then we do a monthly chore.  Wk1 clean all switches, door jams and knobs.  Wk2 we wash all curtains, and clean all windows and sills.  Wk3 we make sure we are using what we have if not it goes to give away.  Wk4 we clean ceiling fans and any mirrors in room.  (this is the day that takes the longest, our kids haven't quite mastered the idea of keeping their rooms clean just yet but I have faith that we will one day.
We tidy the living room, kitchen, hall and bathrooms.

Friday: FOCUS: School room.  We make sure all school stuff is put away.  We empty the trash and vacuum.  We wipe down the school table and load any give away in the van.  Then we do a monthly chore.  Wk1 clean all switches, door jams and knobs.  Wk2 wasll curtain, and clean all windows and sills.  Wk3 &;4 we use as make up days for any jobs we missed due to schedule issues or sickness.

Saturday:  Clean out our van and  do jobs that we missed during the week.  This is great incentive to get it done so we can have a family day.  We only have to tidy all the rooms if we have done our work through the week.

Sunday: REST

This plan won't be perfect for you but hopefully it will help you come up with a plan that will work for your family.  I admit fully that we have not been able to get to Saturday and only have to clean out the van.  I will tell you, there have been times where we had to start over and get the chaos back under control.  But it was way easier and then we start the maintenance again.  Last week we didn't do any of our FOCUS plan, we just cleaned went to doctors, cleaned and got sick and cleaned and got sick again, and cleaned and went back to the doctors.  Life still happens and things still get backed up.  But this plan has helped me greatly. 

Heavenly Hugs

Ever have one of those days/week were everything is HARD?  Just seems like everything you try requires a second try because something goes wrong?

These days ALWAYS seem to happen to me when I am tired.  I seem to trust my feelings alittle more than I should on days like these, and get discourage that life is hard.

Yesterday was one of those days............and then God showed up and He showed off with some Heavenly Hugs.

What are Heavenly Hugs?  Well, I'm glad you asked.very good question!  Heavenly Hugs are when God takes the time to whisper that I am loved and not forgotten, and that He not only sees but cares about all the stuff in my little world.

Sometimes it's through a song, sometimes it's through a friend, sometimes it's from an unrevealed source but it is VERY clear that God has orchestrated this HUG and it speaks "you are created, wanted and loved by me".

I want to share with you my HUG in the hopes that  it will help you sense when you are being hugged, cuz sometimes you'll miss it due to the noise of the storm or the distractions of life and Heavenly Hugs are too AMAZING to go unnoticed.  When the God of all creation takes time to hug me I want to STOP and soak in all the love He sends my way

Soooooooo, back to yesterday.........it was a day filled with dropped items, failed attempts, and frustration.  Nothing uncommon and not earth shattering just annoying and extremely frustrating.  Honestly I can't ever remember most of the little fires that were put out yesterday but in the moment they seem to be bigger and harder.  The last straw was when I went to take Josh and Emily to choir and the van wouldn't start......not uncommon for us to have problems with our van, it is old and falling apart.  I finally got it to start but couldn't get it to stay cranked after I put it in gear.  Tim was in Memphis and unable to help, so we were stuck.  I knew I needed to get gas but the gage said there was enough gas to make it to Millington.  Josh suggested that maybe the van couldn't tell there was gas, and that we could use the gas we had for the lawn mower.  I said (in a clearly frustrated and totally annoyed voice)good idea, we can try it, but might not work.  As I was pouring the gas in to the van (HUG #1, cuz we never have extra gas here, but this one slipped by me until I had some time to reflect)  Jacob and I had conversation that went alittle something like:

Jacob:  "Mama, if this doesn't work are you gonna be frustrated?"
Me:  "Jacob, I'm already very frustrated!
Jacob: "Why?"
Me:  "Cuz Jacob, everything has been hard today.  I just don't understand why everything has to be so very hard to do on some days!"

I finished putting the gas in and the van started.  (HUG#2)  Off we went and got to the church with five minutes to spare.  Usually there are several ladies that I can visit with but today there wasno one.  I sat alone and thought about this stinky day and and have alittle pity party.  So I decided I could pour out my heart to God (since, He already knows what's in there, He wouldn't be surprised) So I did.  I whined and I said I really wished life wasn't so very hard all the time!  I knew He would understand how I felt and love me anyway.  I also asked that God would help me to not follow my feeling but to be able to see truth.  Cuz, those two don't always line up. 

As I was sitting there Jay, our student minister, came by and said "Hey!  Fall Retreat (inside I flinched because there just isn't extra for the kids to go this time) he continued "someone in the church came by today and paid in full specifically for Josh and Emily to go!"(HUG#3 God whispered, It isn't always hard, sometimes it's really easy, like a gift handed to you) I couldn't speak, I just sat there amazed!  Jay said "Just know that your family is so loved"  I said, man, we feel extremely loved! 

I was left alone again, this time my prayers were alittle different.  I thanked God for my HUGS and just sat there in His presence as truth began to wash away untrue feelings and restore my sound mind.

A few minutes later one of my friends joined me.  She began to share with me how God was blessing her family.  I was so excited for her (cuz I love her lots) and could just see all the HUGS she was getting!  Then she said "soooooooooo, because we are blessed we want to be a blessing and handed me an envelope with money in it. (HUG#3 God whispered again, everything isn't always hard! I love and see you.  You haven't been dropped or forgotten.)  I couldn't speak for several minutes I just sat there wrapped in the arms of my loving Father and soaked in the love that He was showering over me!  I shared with this dear friend how my day had gone and how I couldn't believe how much God had loved on me in the last forty-five minutes.

So to all who took part in my HEAVENLY HUGS........Thank you.  Thank you for being willing to be obedient to what God has called you to do.  Thank you for loving our family.  Thank you for listening, praying, and rejoicing with us on the journey called life.  We are truly amazed and completely overwhelmed with the goodness of our God and the faithfulness of those we are so very privileged to worship and work  with as a church family.  Thank you!  Thank you! Thank you!

I hope you feel the HUGS given to you during your day!