On the mend....

"Be serious! Be alert! Your adversary the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour.  Resist him and be firm in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are being experienced by your fellow believers throughout the world. Now the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will personally restore, establish, strengthen, and support you after you have suffered a little.  The dominion and glory belongs to Him forever. Amen" 1Peter 5:8-11


I started feeling "bad" about three months ago.  Each day it seemed I had less and less energy.  I was short-tempered, grouchy, easily offended, and all I wanted to do was sleep.  It finally got so bad that I went to the doctor for testing.  She found a few things but her biggest concern was that some of my symptoms pointed to my heart as the issue.  Well, long story short, and lots-o-testing later....it was not my heart, but my stomach, and vitamin D were my issues.  It has been a slooooooooooow process but I am beginning to feel normal again. (well, for those of you how know me, know that I will never be "normal" but back to my normal)

During this part of my journey, I got so discouraged.  My house was a disaster, but more importantly so was my heart and mind.  I allowed satan a foothold and he sat up camp.   As our Pastor says satan is still using that same ole tricks he started using way back in Genesis, but they still work, and they work well.  My adversary the devil, knows all to well how to make me feel defeated, forgotten, and overwhelmed.

All throughout this year God has been teaching me about restoration. Restoring joy, restoring strength, restoring faith.  Restoring......that's God's business.  Taking what is broken, discarded, and rejected, and restoring it.  It is a beautiful thing, a process, that until you have been broken, and restored you don't fully understand or appreciate its worth.  This is the first week in months that I have been able to do the work necessary to get my home back in order.  I am now having to remember that it took about three months for it to get this bad, and I am not going to be able to fix it in one day.  Each day I do what I can, ask God to bless my efforts and count my blessings for that day.

I wasn't going to share this because honestly, who likes a whiner?  But today, with fresh eyes I saw a new part of  1Petter 5...knowing that the same sufferings are being experienced by your fellow believers throughout the world.....God reminded me that one of satan's best weapons againist me was to make me feel like I was all alone.  He said I was a failure as a mom, wife, sister, aunt and that I was a burden.  And, I believed him....he knows when and where to strike to cause the most injury.  But today, God reminded me that many who have gone before and who will come behind have struggled with these similar issues.   So I want to encourage you to remember something...Now the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will personally restore, establish, strengthen, and support you after you have suffered a little.

 The present is temporary, and whatever struggle you may be facing will NOT last forever.  The temporary has a way of pretending to be bigger than it really is, but God is so good to remind me that this too shall pass. God establishes and strengthens and supports me, He reminds me of truth, that can get drowned out by satan's noise, that He alone sustains me, and loves me with an endless love.....and He loves you the same way.

If we are careful to share our walk honestly and humbly then we point others to Christ.  And that is what this journey is all about, helping others find the one thing that sustains us on our journey..........
Christ........turns out the doctor's first concern was correct....it was a heart issue........I needed to get my heart right and allow God to do what He does best..RESTORE.

God RESTORES WHAT IS BROKEN! 

It is my sincere prayer that this encourages you if your are struggling right now.  Thanks for reading.

Whaaaaaaat?

Today I read something in my quiet time that did not sit well with my soul.  I was actually repulsed, and instantly angered by what I read....

"Lot went out to the men at the entrance, shut the door after him and said "I beg you, my brothers, do not act so wickedly.  Behold, I have two daughters who have not known any man,  Let me bring them out to you and do to them as you please....."(Gensis 19:6-8)

WHAAAAAAAAAT??????????????????????  My immediate thought was "how could a daddy utter those words...." here take my daughters instead of these strangers......"

BUT THEN...God step in and spoke truth into my heart.  He reminded me, that He did EXACTLY that FOR ME.  He looked out into time and saw that people who did not yet know Him, needed Him to intervene, and provide a Savior.  He utter those unthinkable words, "Take My Only Son."  "For God so love the world (you & me) that He GAVE His only Son, that whosoever (anyone) believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16"

I can't imagine laying down the life of one of my children for a stranger.  A stranger that could reject the sacrifice, or say it never happened, or even goes as far to say that my child was crazy or a fake.  That is EXACTLY what is said about Jesus.  People say He is a liar, a lunatic, a fake, and fraud....and I believe it breaks God's heart.  But God in all His love and wisdom knew that there would be some who accepted this gift with humility and awe...and it was worth the cost.

WORTH IT...you, and me.....WORTH IT!  Worth the sacrifice that is unimaginable to my human brain....Worth the pain, rejection, ridicule, ....WORTH IT!

How great is our Father's love for us!  How deep and wide, How UNBELIEVEABLLY AMAZING!

I don't know if I will ever  fully understand this love, but I know each time I seem to get a glimpse of it's depth, I find myself standing with my mouth gapping wide in absolute amazement.  I pray that I will never forget, and never allow myself to not take for granted how AMAZING His LOVE is for me

Amazed by Grace

Pslam 139 is an AMAZING chapter in God's Word.  Filled with affirmation, and encouragement to the believer about being formed, helped, protected, lead, and loved by God.  Absolutely beautiful!  Then at the end David shares...

"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns.  See if there is any wicked way in me; lead me in the everlasting way." Psalm 139:23-24"

I have read these verses several times and have thought: "hey, that's good stuff!"  However, recently The Holy Spirit encouraged me to take more than a casual glance, and actually pray those words!  YIKES!  That's intimidating!  I mean what if He finds something in there that He didn't know about?  What if He sees something lurking in the very back dark corner that shocks Him.  I mean really, do I want to be the "one" that surprises God by what He found in my heart?  I can just see it now....God, with His hands folded together frowning and saying, "Well, I never!"

So, for a few days I struggled with this, I wrestled with being obedient.  I want to be pleasing to my Father, and I was pretty sure that if He only knew......the secret anger, unforgiveness, regrets, fears, insecurties and doubt that I had packed away in my heart maybe, just maybe, He would decide that I wasn't worth the effort.  Then I re-read the WHOLE chapter!

ALL OF IT!!!  Have you ever read it?  Well, if not you should.  I had but I had forgotten....TRUTH!
Being anything but real before Holy God is absolute nonsense!  Here's why......

Psalm 139: 1-18

"Lord, You have searched me and know me.  You know when I sit down and when I stand up; You understand my thought from far away.  You observe my travels and my rest; You are aware of ALL my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue, You know all about it, LORD.  You have encircled me; You have placed Your hand on me.  This extraordinary knowledge is beyond me.  It is lofty; I am unable to reach it.  Where can I go to escape Your Spirit?  Where can I flee from Your presence?  If I go up to heaven, You are there if I make my bed in Sheol (grave) You are there.  If I live at the eastern horizon or settle at the western limits, even there Your hand will lead me; your right hand will hold on to me.  If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me, and the light around me will be night"--even the darkness is not dark to You.  The night shines like the day; darkness and light are alike to You.  For it is you who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother's womb.  I will praise You because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made.  Your works are wonderful, and I know this very well.  My bones are not hidden from You when I was made in secret, when I was formed in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began.  God, how difficult Your thoughts are for me to comprehend; how vast their sum is!  if I counted them, they would outnumber the grains of sand; when I wakeup, I am still with You."

GOD IS SO GOOD!!!!!

Satan is a liar, a good one, but a liar just the same!  He know exactly what to say to make me doubt, he knows the areas I don't feel safe, when and how to attack so that I will believe  his lies, even if just for a moment.  And for a moment he had me convinced that I had hidden something that would make me unwanted by my Father!

In a world where people are discarded as soon as they are no longer "useful" and where children are treated like trash instead of treasure, it doesn't take much to believe this lie, and accept this lie as a truth.  Do you want to know something?  (if you said no, you should probably stop reading :-D)
                               NOTHING IS HDDEN FROM GOD!   NOTHING!!!

 I believe that most people don't really believe this.  They think that where they are God's grace can't reach.  Here's the thing about God's amazing grace.  You can't be good enough to earn it, or bad enough to loose it.  No one deserves grace, but God pours it out on us because He loves us with a never ending love.   He proved that to us by allowing His One and Only Son Jesus to come and pay the price for our sins.  God's word is very clear about this prices.  Death.  When sin entered this world so did death, and all sin leads to death. No exceptions.  Because of the sacrifice that Jesus made on our behalf we are able to be sons and daughter, of The King of kings and Lord of lords!  Jesus came, lived a perfect life, and died on the cross for our sins.  Three days later God raised Him for the dead, conquering sin and death for US!!!  The Bible tells us.. "If  you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord",: and believe in your heart that God raised Him for the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9   Once you are saved, NOTHING can remove you from His love!  "For I am persuaded that not even death or life, angels or rulers, thing present or things to come, powers, height or depth, or any other created thing will have the power to separate us for the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord! Romans 8:38-39 As His childern we are free to go boldly before the throne of the Most High God and say..."search me, show me anything in me that doesn't bring you honor and give me the strength to remove it so that I can be pleasing in Your sight!"

 And, you want know something else.......He loves you, warts and all!  It is His desire to touch each area of your hurt.  Do you know what happens when He touches you?  HEALING!    And, it is absolutely AMAZING!