Most of you know that Tim (my husband) was laid off in Feb of this year due to lack of work. This is not a new road for us, we are in construction and it is just part of the journey. Time and time again God has ALWAYS provided a new job for us so I knew soon we'd have another offer and a new company to work for..........and then just as I was getting pretty comfortable on this journey God says "let's go this way." and things that I KNOW to be true get drowned out by the fear of this unknown path.
Tim believed he was suppose to start working for himself. Self-employed was not a path I thought we'd walk, but I knew that Tim had been praying and I know that I had for many years asked God to bless Tim with wisdom that could only come for God's hand as he leads our family in God's will. So really there was no fear.
The work just seemed to fall into Tim's lap. One thing after another happened confirming in our hearts that this was the right choice for us, and so this new journey turns out to be not so hard and my silly little pride say "we've got this new path licked" So God says "let's go this way for awhile" Work slowed down......savings was used........work slowed some more.......bills piled up......things broke.........work stopped..........gas prices went up...........school started...........more things broke.......test after test after test after test.........and I lost my step many times.
So in my unbelief I began to fear that we had missed something that was VERY IMPORTANT because clearly God wasn't in this anymore cuz when we obey.....God blesses......which encourages us to be obedient and God blesses (see the clear cycle?) . It's a lovely thought, only problem is it is REALLY WRONG.
God's blesses NOT because I have been obedient but because He is a GOOD God who cares for His children. Many times God will allow me to go on a path I'd NEVER choose so He can show me a lesson I need to either learn or be take a refresher course in. This was one of those times......this was a test.............only a test.............and I am so very thankful that He loves me enough to take me as I am and too much to leave me that way.
My first reaction to this new tough path was make a plan..........I could get a full time job......I went to Tim and He said, no..........I went to God and I prayed and asked God for a clear word (so I could tell Tim I was right.....Don't judge, you know you've done the same thing. We think we are right, so we pray that God will help us prove we are right, not in those words but don't forget God sees the heart so He isn't tricked by our christian sounding words.) God gave me exactly what I asked for.....a CLEAR word.........2 Chron 20:1-26 "15.....Thus saith the Lord unto you, Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is NOT yours but it belongs to God............17 You will not need to fight in this battle; set yourself stand still and see the salvation of the Lord with you" This was NOT mine to fix. My role in this journey was to set myself in a place, be still and watch God work. NOT EASY FOR THIS FIX-IT GAL! Knowing God to be trustworthy I obeyed. And work didn't pick up.............and bills piled up............and things broke.........and kids needed........and on and on........until I found myself with NO tricks or plans left, afraid and pretty sure that this was gonna be the one time that God forgot to show up.
TRUTH GOT DROWNED OUT BY MY FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN
I only felt lead to share these fears with a few people, who I knew would pray for me to be still and trust, and now here I stood with an overdrawn checking account and lots of bills and an empty bag of "if this doesn't work we can try this".....and I was scared.
I said to my husband, what if we missed it, what if this isn't God's plan for us and we made a wrong turn, how bad is it gonna have to get before we turn around? And here's what He said to me.......LaDonia, God's words say that if I acknowledge Him, He is gonna direct my path.....you are praying, I am praying and God always keeps His word....and that was enough for him. I knew He was right. I knew that He was seeking God's face and I knew that I was praying for Tim and I knew that God NEVER fails
So I began to pray differently. I began to seek out verses that reminded me that my hope was in God and GOD DOESN'T FAIL and that when we wait we see the faithfulness of the MIGHTY GOD.
Here are a few.........
* Lam 3:24 "The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him."
* Psalm 5:3 "My voice shall thou hear in the morning, O LORD in the morning will I direst my prayer unto thee, and will look up."
* Ps 27:14 "Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say on the LORD"
* Ps 33:20 "Our soul waiteth for the LORD: he is our help and our shield"
* Is 33:2 "O LORD, be gracious unto us; we have waited for thee: be thou their arm every morning, our salvation also in the time of trouble.
* Is 40:29 " He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increases strength."
* Is 40:31 "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength: they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and the shall walk and not faint."
So God began a work in me to grow my faith. It is work in progress. I didn't have any answers to any of the problem that we faced but I did have a renewed hope that God had every answer to every problem we faced. Many times I go to a quiet place and pray that God will help me to lead my heart and cling to TRUTH not feelings. And HE is FAITHFUL!!
God has blessed our family thru gifts and work for T.H.I.S. Co. (Tim's business) to pay EVERY BILL THAT IS DUE!!!!!!! The gifts alone almost completely covered our bills! GOD IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING and I stand, mouth gaping wide open, in total amazement as He works in my life. Not because of anything I am but because of everything He is.
If you were a part of this wonderful work that God is doing I want you to know how very much we appreciate your willingness to give. Words can't express how much I appreciate your faithfulness to our faithful Lord and Savior. And to my husband I say thank you for not losing site of truth and for helping me get back up when I stumble. I am so very thankful for you and I love very much.
Testing in progress.............but it's ok cuz I have the answer key......God's word!
